


deh kids in a gc

by squidtoast



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/F, Gay, Group chat, M/M, Mostly humor and Fluff, Tree Bros, convan, everyone ships evan and connor, fam squad, friendship bracelets for the win, jared is jealooous, thats the fic, theyre all gay, will be angst, zolana
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2018-11-29 07:46:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11436354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidtoast/pseuds/squidtoast
Summary: title says it all. Have fun.





	1. Chapter 1

**_jaredkleinmom69 created a group chat_ **

**_jaredkleinmom69 added forestexpert, jazzoe, and alanaah_ **

**_forestexpert added connorsmurfy_ **

**_jaredkleinmom69 removed connorsmurfy_ **

**_forestexpert added connorsmurfy_ **

**_alanaah removed jaredkleinmom69_ **

_connorsmurfy: let's keep it that way_

**_alanaah added jaredkleinmom69_ **

**_jaredkleinmom69 renamed the group chat: BETRAYAL_ **

_alanaah: everyone should be included, Jared._

_jazzoe: mom_

_forestexpert: mom_

_connorsmurfy: mom_

_jaredkleinmom69: mom >:(_

_alanaah: dad??_

_connorsmurfy: are you my dad?_

_forestexpert: you watch Steven Universe?_

_connorsmurfy: yep_

_forestexpert: oh!!! I do too!!_

_jazzoe: evan is bean_

_jazzoe: Connor watches it for the porn_

_connorsmurfy: tHERE'S NO PORN_

_jazzoe: those scenes where Steven is naked_

**_jaredkleinmom69 renamed the group chat: Connor watches su porn_ **

_jazzoe: with evan_

**_jaredkleinmom69 renamed the group chat: Connor watches porn of evan_ **

_alanaah: that says of evan_

_jaredkleinmom69: I'm aware_

_forestexpert: lakakwkqpqoahrggrhvgneffdwnftwfnf_

_connorsmurfy: S T OP_

_jazzoe: Connor is red_

_jazzoe: Connor is crying_

_jazzoe: cOnnoR'S COMING OVER TO ME_

_jazzoe: HE'S KICKING ME_

_jazzoe: oU CH_

_jaredkleinmom69: anyway_

_jaredkleinmom69: if any of you try to go after Dylan Brooks, I will murder._

_jazzoe: I'm bi_

_alanaah: I'm pan_

_forestexpert: I don't know him_

_connorsmurfy: I'm crushing_

_forestexpert: w HAT_

_forestexpert: siNCE WHEN???? YOU TOLD ME JUST YESTERDAY THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE ANYONE. WHO IS IT?????_

_connorsmurfy: sorry gotta go_

_forestexpert: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!_

_jazzoe: qts_

_jaredkleinmom69: Evan and Connor sitting in a tree_

_forestexpert: no_

_connorsmurfy: don't u dare_

_jaredkleinmom69:F_

_jaredkleinmom69:U_

_jaredkleinmom69:C_

_jaredkleinmom69:K_

_jaredkleinmom69:I_

_jaredkleinmom69:N_

_jaredkleinmom69:G_

_forestexpert: gosh darn jared_

_jazzoe: golly jee friend_

_connorsmurfy: goodness me buddy_

_alanaah: guy fieri pal_

_forestexpert: I'm suing_


	2. Zoe's issue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe has an issue. Connor and Evan are pining. Jared is Jared.

**_jazzoe created a group chat.  
_ **

**_jazzoe added forestexpert, connorsmurfy, and jaredkleinmom69.  
_ **

**_jazzoe renamed the group chat: HELP I HAVE AN ISSUE_ **

_jaredkleinmom69: k_

_connorsmurfy: we all do_

_forestexpert: hm? what's wrong??_

_jazzoe: thANK YOU FOR CARING, E VAN_

_jaredkleinmom69: does this involve your big gay crush on Alana?_ _  
_

_connorsmurfy: what else would it involve_

_jaredkleinmom69: true_

_jazzoe: weLL, yes. I need help from you guys because you're all pining for your best friends_

_forestexpert: KEJWHNNWJQJW NO_

_connorsmurfy: nO!!_

_jaredkleinmom69: accurate_

_jazzoe: how do I ask her out??_

_forestexpert: just tell her how you feel. It's easy._

_jaredkleinmom69: 'it's easy.'_

_jaredkleinmom69: SAYS THE PERSON WHO'S BEEN IN LOVE WITH THEIR BEST FRIEND FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND HASN'T TOLD HIM YET  
_

_forestexpert: sHhHhHhHhh  
_

_jaredkleinmom69: evan has said this, and I quote, "he's just so perfect and I want to kiss him and snuggle him but I can't tell him how I feel because he'll hate me and he's already under a lot of stress."  
_

_forestexpert: aHHSJWJSJAJJWKSJWJW  
_

_connorsmurfy: who's your best friend, ev?  
_

_jaredkleinmom69: :^))  
_

_forestexpert: can't say,,,  
_

_connorsmurfy: can someone tell me??  
_

_jazzoe: sorry bro, I can't expose the poor innocent baby :)  
_

_connorsmurfy: well fucc  
_

_connorsmurfy: anyway, why don't you just ask her out for the senior + junior prom?? I bet she'll say yes  
_

_jazzoe: that'll come off as clingy and annoying and she'll reject me and I won't be able to come because I'll see her off with someone else having the time of her life  
_

_connorsmurfy: well then, dear sister, can't help you there.  
_

_jaredkleinmom69: stop talking like a spoiled english child  
_

_connorsmurfy: make me  
_

_jaredkleinmom69: kinky  
_

_connorsmurfy: gtfo  
_

_jaredkleinmom69: good tallywads, Francis Ogre.  
_

_connorsmurfy: I  
_

_jazzoe: I have an idea_  
\------------------  
**_jazzoe sent a message to: Connor watches porn of evan_**

_jazzoe: party at me and connor's house. parents won't be home in a few days. you guys can sleepover._

jaredkleinmom69: omw

alanaah: same

forestexpert: same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for readinnnng! If you have a question, request, concern, or correction(or you just wanna be friends), hmu at my Instagram @hotdangitslaura.  
> next chapter will be the party!!!!!  
> have a good dayyy!


	3. The party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zolana zolana zolana zolana

"It's open." Called a familiar voice coming from a far side of the Murphy Household.  
Alana slowly twisted the knob and opened the brown door. As she stepped in, she took a breath and smelled a scent similar to a ' _Warm Vanilla Sugar'_ candle from Bath  & Body Works. As she walked to the living room, she looked around. _"I don't remember this house being so big,"_ she thought.

She walked deeper into the house, getting lost a few times until she finally found her destination. She found Evan, Jared, Connor, and Zoe on the couch. Zoe was wearing her favorite dress along with sparkly gold high heels and diamond earrings. She really dressed up. Alana blushed in both embarrassment because she was only wearing a flannel and jeans, and love because _god she looked so pretty._

Connor and Evan came to greet her, but before the two boys could, Zoe stepped in. "Hi, Lana!" She said, a bit too loud for her liking. Why was she so eager to see Alana? It's not like they've never been to a party together before. "Hey, z-" before she could finish her sentence, the one and only Jared Kleinman interrupted "Could you stop being so gay for like, one second, and order some pizza??"

"There's money on the kitchen counter. You have a phone. Let me be gay."

"Ohgoshiloveyou."

_Oh. Bad move, Alana._

_Oh. Good move, Alana._

As their lips pressed together, Alana's face turned red and Zoe just smiled like crazy. The kiss wasn't even that good, but it felt perfect. Connor cheered and Evan smiled. Jared 'Boo'ed. "Get a room," he complained, "I'm loosing my appetite."

"Dating?" "Dating."

"Here comes the bride, all dressed in rainbow."

"You're about to catch this hands."

"Don't pINCH ME, ZOE!!"

* * *

 

A few hours later, they were all asleep and most of them(except for evan) were drunk as hell.

It was a great night. With lots of cuddling. Connor is an affectionate drunk. And he may have given a few kisses, but that's Evan's secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support!!  
> (Ps. Alana and Zoe fell asleep while cuddling oops)  
> If you have any questions, requests, or corrections just contact me at my Instagram @hotdangitslaura!!! More texting and humor next chapter, my dudes!!


	4. Evan's issue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> have fun

**_jaredkleinmom69 sent a message to "Connor watches porn of evan"_ **

_jaredkleinmom69: evan and connor fucced_

_jaredkleinmom69: I bet 16 dollars and a pocket knife_

_forestexpert: that's not what happened!!_

_forestexpert: Connor and I just cuddled_

_jazzoe: and kissed_

_alanaah: and said a lot of sappy cute stuff_

_forestexpert: no!! shh!!_

_jaredkleinmom69: and totally made oUt_

_jazzoe: ok that part's obviously not true_

_jazzoe: poor evan would not take advantage of a drunk con_

_alanaah: ^^_

_jaredkleinmom69: you got me guys_

_jaredkleinmom69: I was #pranckd_

_jaredkleinmom69: bamboozled by the girlfriendos_

_forestexpert: hi!!_

_forestexpert: bye!!_

* * *

  
**_forestexpert sent a message to "HELP I HAVE AN ISSUE"_ **

_forestexpert: help please_

**_jazzoe removed connorsmurfy_ **

**_jazzoe renamed the group chat: Operation Convan_ **

**_jazzoe removed all old messages from the group chat_ **

**_jazzoe added alanaah_ **

_forestexpert: you were all drunk and asleep but.. Connor kissed me a few times?? I tried to push him off but he wouldn't stop so I just let him do it twice more before I forced him to sleep. Is it bad?? Do I need to apologize?? I seriously tried to get him off and it was really hard and what if he hates me when I tell him??_

_alanaah: I bet he'll get it, evan!!_

_jaredkleinmom69: while you're telling him, you should confess your undying love._

_forestexpert: I can't do that!!_

_forestexpert: he'll reject me_

_forestexpert: I'll loose my best friend, Jared!!_

_jazzoe: ev, calm down._

_forestexpert: I can't!! I don't want to loose him, Zoe! I don't want to go down that spiral again! I don't want to feel alone! I don't want to end!_

_jazzoe: EVAN._

_jazzoe: IF HE EVEN TRIED TO LEAVE YOU, I WOULD KILL HIM._

_forestexpert: I love him, Zoe. I can't stand to let him leave._

_jazzoe: he won't leave, I promise. just tell him._

_jazzoe: evan???_

_jazzoe: evannnnn, it's been about a day, you didn't come to school._

_jazzoe: evan? Are you alright?_

_jazzoe: evan?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooo >:)  
> if you have any questions, requests, or corrections contact me at my Instagram @hotdangitslaura or my tumblr @brookemell


	5. a visit from miss hansen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> very short!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY!!! IVE BEEN SUPER BUSY!! I HAD CAMP AND STUFF!

_**forestexpert sent a message to "Operation Convan"** _

_forestexpert: hello, this is Evan's mom._

_jaredkleinmom69: is evan dead_

_forestexpert: excuse me??_

_jazzoe: shut ur gay mouth_

_jazzoe: what Jared means to say is, miss Hansen, is our dear boy evan alright?_

_forestexpert: oh! he's not in.. the best shape._

_alanaah: what? what happened?_

_forestexpert: he isn't close to... you know, but he got appendicitis and is going into surgery soon!_

_forestexpert: **sleepingevan.jpg**_

_alanaah: tell him I wish him the best of luck during his surgery!_

_jazzoe: we'll bring lots of gifts!!_

_forestexpert: thank you all for being there for evan!_

_alanaah: no problem, miss hansen!!_

_forestexpert: Im going to leave this squad so that evan doesn't get any notifications while in his surgery!_

_**forestexpert left the group chat** _

_  
jaredkleinmom69: where's Connor in this big moment_

_jazzoe: oh Jared no this chat shouldn't have Connor in it!_

_**jaredkleinmom69 added connorsmurfy** _

_connorsmurfy: holy_

_connorsmurfy: h*ck_

_jazzoe: oh n o_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!  
> if you have any questions, requests, or corrections contact me at my Instagram @hotdangitslaura or my tumblr @hotdangitslaura !!


	6. UPDATE!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)) please read

hEy I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long!! I'm here now and ready to update, just you wait :0


	7. He's dizzy and he's dreamy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes the chapter title is from The Little Mermaid. :)

Connor was shaking. He was staring at proof that his best friend/crush was in love with him.

The boy began to feel tears rushing down his face. He tried to wipe them away but they just kept coming like burning hot water out of the spout of the bathtub. He tried to pull the handles, but they wouldn't stop the water from coming down.

It was so weird, he was smiling as if he had just won the lottery. He was red and grinning and even giggling, but the tears wouldn't stop coming.. Connor didn't know what it felt like. To have someone truly love you with all of their heart. All of his previous crushes had rejected him or just flat out ignored him. He decided to push the feelings away. But oh, with evan, it was different.

The blonde made Connor feel happy inside. It wasn't his looks, it wasn't the way their hands brushed against each other that one time in PE, I wasn't the way he walked or the way he put on Chapstick. It was just... him in general. Connor had never felt this way about anyone, any man, before.

_**Chat: Connorsmurfy to Forestexpert** _

_connorsmurfy: dear evan hansen_

_delete._

_connorsmurfy: hey, I don't know how to type this... but.. I found out that you like me??? Yeah. Weird! I know! I saw what you said in the messages, and I realllllly love you soooo much and I want to kiss you and play with your hair and whisper nice things to you to make you flustered and I LOVE YOU_

_delete._

_connorsmurfy: hey, I heard you like me. Sorry, but I can't return the feelings. I'm in love with Jared Kleinman._

_oh no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOPS


	8. His head's up in the foam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)) the title is another line from the little mermaid   
> I need to sleep my eyes are slowly closing

**Connor wasn't telling the truth. How could he? How could he lose a friendship just for his own feelings _?_**

_  
**Chat: Forestexpert to Connorsmurfy** _

_Forestexpert: ok._

_Forestexpert: have a nice night._

_Connorsmurfy: NO WAIT NO_

_Connorsmurfy: NO EVAN NONOONOJPKONEOENWOENEO_

_Connorsmurfy: fUCUFHEH_

_  
**Chat: Connorsmurfy to Jaredkleinmom69** _

_Connorsmurfy: JARED HELP_

_Jaredkleinmom69: huh_

_Connorsmurfy: I WANTED TO TELL EVAN IM IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT I ACCIDENTALLY TOLD HIM THAT I LPVE YOU_

_Jaredkleinmom69: h o l y crackers._

_Connorsmurfy: WHAT DO I DO HE WONF ANSWERRRLRE_

_Jaredkleinmom69: well, it's too late now. You broke the boy's heart. Maybe I'll have a chance at him now ;;;)_

_Connorsmurfy: I will pull your arm off_

_Jaredkleinmom69: never mind_

_Jaredkleinmom69: you gotta tell ev that you love him. Blow him away with something._  
k  
Connorsmurfy: I

_Connorsmurfy: I think I got it_

_  
**Chat: Connorsmurfy to forestexpert** _

_Connorsmurfy: evan, what I said about Jared wasn't true. How could I love him? Truth is, I'm in love with you. My heart belongs to you and I tried to get it back but it chose you. It wants you. I tried everything to make it stop. I even went to the doctors. But the way your hands feel against my face, the way you squirm when I rouch your thigh. You make me the happiest person alive and you probably don't return feelings but_

_Connorsmurfy: I'm sorry._

_Forestexpert: come over now._

They kissed. And cuddled. The kissing went on for hours. But they wouldn't have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi pls follow my Instagram @bwaybee it has memes for musicals


	9. please read!

should i end this fic??


	10. uh

miss keisha  
miss keishaaaa  
miss keisha  
oh my fuckin god she fuckin dead  
i have a wattpad for stranger things uh @strangerscripts  
and uh idk if i should update this  
be my friend  
follow my insta @vvheelers


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